this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize