I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
