So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
