4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
