Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
