So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
