Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
