wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
