I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
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You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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