So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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