The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize