the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
