so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
