remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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