I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
