it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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