Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
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Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
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He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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