i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
