i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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