How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
