Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
