i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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