is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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