operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
