Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
