My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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