But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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