Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
