i need an iv and a liver transplant
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
