The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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