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Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
smell my finger.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
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