Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.

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(908): Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution. http://tfl.nu/ms1p

Replies (2) Good night (1815) Bad night (530)
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(630): View more from Illinois

his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass

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(630): his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass http://tfl.nu/ujep

Replies (36) Good night (8724) Bad night (1099)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you

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(717): When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you http://tfl.nu/09i6

Replies (3) Good night (2967) Bad night (1563)
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(516): View more from New York

Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system

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(516): Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system http://tfl.nu/i7jp

Replies (18) Good night (4894) Bad night (815)
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(773): View more from Illinois

we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.

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(773): we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby. http://tfl.nu/gkxo

Replies (4) Good night (2814) Bad night (709)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.

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(+44): There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside. http://tfl.nu/nyqa

Replies (2) Good night (1827) Bad night (815)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.

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(+44): I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage. http://tfl.nu/0e7q

Replies (7) Good night (2825) Bad night (755)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.

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(870): He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible. http://tfl.nu/mspa

Replies (9) Good night (1335) Bad night (566)
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(308): View more from Nebraska

And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?

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(308): And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night? http://tfl.nu/df5d

Replies (7) Good night (2460) Bad night (764)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.

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(603): Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight. http://tfl.nu/c8kn

Replies (6) Good night (1158) Bad night (593)
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(760): View more from California

I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.

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(760): I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment. http://tfl.nu/vulx

Replies (2) Good night (853) Bad night (496)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual

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(774): Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual http://tfl.nu/ncxl

Replies (5) Good night (1202) Bad night (736)
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(205): View more from Alabama

I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.

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(205): I can HEAR him staring at your boobs. http://tfl.nu/pry3

Replies (5) Good night (1294) Bad night (410)
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(425): View more from Washington

I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it

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(425): I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it http://tfl.nu/rt0o

Replies (8) Good night (1214) Bad night (374)
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(425): View more from Washington

Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero

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(425): Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero http://tfl.nu/rxr0

Replies (4) Good night (865) Bad night (251)

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