If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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