Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.

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  (817): I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that. http://tfl.nu/nbo5
  Replies (27) Good night (994) Bad night (5723)
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  (845): View more from New York

  he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.

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  (845): he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after. http://tfl.nu/w4bv
  Replies (78) Good night (5924) Bad night (2843)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Dude she let me cum on her face

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning

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  (843): Dude she let me cum on her face (1-843): You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning http://tfl.nu/f5g3
  Replies (116) Good night (3575) Bad night (10495)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  My grandma had to be escorted out by police.

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  (765): My grandma had to be escorted out by police. http://tfl.nu/ipgw
  Replies (18) Good night (7075) Bad night (1068)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.

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  (570): he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough. http://tfl.nu/fko8
  Replies (8) Good night (5072) Bad night (887)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.

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  (902): So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge. http://tfl.nu/p9n1
  Replies (5) Good night (1063) Bad night (2292)
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  (818): View more from California

  Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.

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  (818): Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in. http://tfl.nu/o2x8
  Replies (9) Good night (1431) Bad night (2502)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day

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  (914): I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day http://tfl.nu/8r1c
  Replies (7) Good night (2649) Bad night (1462)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?

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  (425): My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities? http://tfl.nu/eeu5
  Replies (14) Good night (1449) Bad night (570)
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  (562): View more from California

  Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.

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  (562): Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning. http://tfl.nu/rdpv
  Replies (0) Good night (490) Bad night (392)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?

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  (313): Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise? http://tfl.nu/m7ic
  Replies (3) Good night (406) Bad night (605)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.

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  (513): My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck. http://tfl.nu/0395
  Replies (3) Good night (882) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.

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  (919): I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went. http://tfl.nu/8z0s
  Replies (2) Good night (393) Bad night (666)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.

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  (708): Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry. http://tfl.nu/gvhn
  Replies (0) Good night (678) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!

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  (620): Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches! http://tfl.nu/pj02
  Replies (0) Good night (323) Bad night (183)

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