i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot