Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.

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(956): View more from Texas

It was like little house on the drunk prairie.

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(512): View more from Texas

Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(651): View more from Minnesota

Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party

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(760): View more from California

I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.

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(419): View more from Ohio

So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.

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