who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize