I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
