that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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