You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
