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  • 87 47
    Submitted by TruthHurts on Aug 3, 10 at 2:02pm

    There are standards for random head? I've never heard of such a thing..

  • 66 46
    Submitted by leadbelly on Aug 3, 10 at 11:48pm

    I thought Dick Cheney was in the hospital with a bad heart.

  • 60 37
    Submitted by zoehascurls on Aug 4, 10 at 11:12pm

    People always ruin the magic of the texts with comments >.>

  • 64 47
    Submitted by tangerineballs on Aug 3, 10 at 2:28pm

    Hmm I assumed it was a girl saying this. Implying that she is the ugly one and her victim was the one with low standards. I think its even funnier if its a guy saying it.

  • 65 53
    Submitted by TheRuleBook on Aug 3, 10 at 1:53pm

    Rule 435: There are no standards to getting Sucked, just as long as they do it well, wo cares what they look like. that's what paper bags are for...

    • 48 48
      Submitted by Vulpus on Aug 3, 10 at 10:15pm

      wouldn't a paper bag interfere with the sucking? unless you're bagging yourself, but then you're into that whole auto-asphyxiation territory. I don't want to go there.

      • 49 52
        Submitted by SomeIrishGuyY on Aug 4, 10 at 3:10am

        You cut a whole....

        • 47 45
          Submitted by colan08 on Aug 4, 10 at 10:16am

          It better be a big hole. Just give her a zoro mask. =]

  • 57 43
    Submitted by arthurlux on Aug 3, 10 at 2:31pm

    This is why you shouldn't make fun of the guy hitting on the fat girl at the bar.

  • 53 40
    Submitted by spearchucker on Aug 3, 10 at 2:18pm

    I have none

  • 52 49
    Submitted by sandyballs on Aug 3, 10 at 1:47pm

    WIN.

  • 51 47
    Submitted by tangerineballs on Aug 3, 10 at 1:17pm

    Wow you have to KNOW you're petty ugly today that about yourself....hello insecurity goodbye self dignity

  • 49 44
    Submitted by hooah33 on Aug 3, 10 at 1:42pm

    Kinda want to see the first part of the convo. I'd guess. "dude, you have no standards. I can't believe you are going home with that hoodrat"

  • 50 49
    Submitted by pooponyadong on Aug 3, 10 at 4:04pm

    What if it's a guy?

  • 48 46
    Submitted by marsho on Aug 4, 10 at 1:47pm

    And also, that someone with very low standards is getting STDs.

  • 52 56
    Submitted by sorryboutcha11 on Aug 3, 10 at 1:05pm

    way to make momma proud. Firsty

  • 54 66
    Submitted by michaelbolton on Aug 3, 10 at 3:22pm

    It's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

    • 51 66
      Submitted by marsho on Aug 3, 10 at 10:53pm

      You talentless hack. Die in a fire. Or fall of the dock of the bay and drown, since its more your style.

  • 49 56
    Submitted by amonymous on Aug 3, 10 at 1:09pm

    Sounds like a great comeback.

  • 38 47
    Submitted by unleashedxx on Aug 3, 10 at 11:19pm

    Are you referring to yourself or the person you're blowing? Either way your self respect is exemplary.

  • 40 53
    Submitted by HiMyNameIs on Aug 3, 10 at 5:55pm

    I don't think the girl that is sucking the guys dick is the person texting... It could be like an ugly chick that the girl doesn't like n Maybe it's like the girls ex or something..

  • 40 55
    Submitted by wooowduuude12 on Aug 4, 10 at 8:40am

    I bet it was OP.

  • 30 40
    Submitted by jltc on Oct 4, 11 at 12:45pm

    *his. "Their" is a dumb, ungrammatical solution to not knowing the person's gender. If this person has a penis, presumably you do know.