they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
How external is "for external use only"?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
