Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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