My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
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