Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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