Jerry, you need to find god
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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