her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
