i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
