I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
