Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
