I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize