What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
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I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
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Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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