Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
