No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Damn victory sex feels great
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
