Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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