I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
