im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize