Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
