Whoa Z and x make the same sound
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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