Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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