You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
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