How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize