sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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