Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
if only i could text you this smell
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
