Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
