If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
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moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
two words...techno handjob
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
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