I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
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I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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