if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
