he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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