I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
