I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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