We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
A bitchslap is in order.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
