hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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