So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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