I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
