Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
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God dammit I'm just picturing thousands of deep paper cuts on my penis.
It sounds like you need the "White Knuckler."
"Bloody hand job" is only acceptable if give by British woman. "Sliced penis" is not acceptable ever.
Sounds like a nightmare....
My penis hurts just from reading this.