I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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