i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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